Tag Archives: God

How many times?

02 Friday Mar 2018

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Forgiveness.

Such a hard topic because we all think we walk in forgiveness, but then we still have this twinge of ….something when we see that person. Am I right?

I have walked many seasons in my life, and in each of them I have learned much about forgiveness. Not that I am an expert, but I have really been pondering it lately.

I had a really hard situation several years back and really wanted to not have the noose of unforgiveness binding me or the other person.

When I ran into this person that really hurt me several months ago {not having seen or talked to her since ‘the hurting’} I genuinely smiled, asked how she was, didn’t have any of that white-hot ugly in my heart, and wished her a great day. As I walked away, God told me {yes Joy Behar, God does talk to us, and only His sheep hear His voice} “that is what forgiveness feels like, this is what is feels like to be at peace with someone”. Not that the situation was right, or we will ever be best pals again, but I was free of the bond of unforgivness.

How do you know when you have forgiven someone?

I get asked this all the time. In the past, I would answer, until you don’t hurt anymore, or until you can bless the person who hurt you. But now, I answer until it’s complete in you and you have peace.

Many times we rotely quote “seventy times seven”, and offer it a very unsticky band-aid. It is in the bible, but what does it mean? Do we multiply the numbers? Do we look into the Greek or Hebrew and have a discussion on it?

I would like to suggest something I think God has shown me.

Peter asks Jesus, do I need to forgive seven times? And then Jesus responds, seventy times seven.  So here is what I think it could mean.

Seven in the bible is the year of Jubilee, completion, the year debts are forgiven. What if Jesus is saying I want you to forgive until it is complete in you. That you are totally completely forgiving and at peace. Not that what was done to you was right, but you deserve to live free, at peace, complete. Completely at peace with them.

Not a multiplication problem, but a numbers game if you will. Forgive until your heart is totally in jubilee, until the forgiveness is complete and you can look at that person and feel nothing but peace, compassion and completeness.

So, is it possible Jesus is saying, forgive until it has been completed in your heart and that my peace completes you.  That forgiveness has been completed in me.

How many times? until it is complete.

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unglued.

13 Thursday Jul 2017

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Have you ever felt like you are coming unglued? unhinged? In other words, becoming broken. Again. I use the word unglued because God has glued my brokenness many, many times, but for some reason it feels like maybe the glue isn’t holding.

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Now I know that sounds bad. Like what God has fixed isn’t holding. But in truth, God fixes and it is finished. Unless.

Unless we begin to pick at the glue.

The enemy is such a sly little bugger that before you know it, your glue starts to lose its effectiveness and you feel the effects.

Jennie Allen in her latest books Nothing to Prove talks about “If I were the enemy, I would” and then she list many things. Good things, but things that slowly over time cause us to feel unloved, alone or distract you with good things, social media or even ministry.

Then little by little you begin to feel and long for the times when you felt accepted, important or loved. Every photo that pops up on your feed causes you pain and confirms that “they like them more than you”, or “you will never be as good as her”, or “you have nothing to say”

A piece of glue begins to peel away leaving an exposed crack.

The enemy is very good at seeing that peel and he begins to rip away at it.

And we let him.

He is such a jerk!

But this is me.

Over time when we neglect any relationship, it will go away.  I remember an old poster in the dentist office “ignore your teeth and they will go away”.  It’s the same for our relationship with people, family and most importantly God.

When we try to keep the glue holding by ourselves and not allow our relationship to turn the glue into a sold adhesive that will never crumble, we begin to feel the same issues that cracked us in the first place.

It’s always hard to admit or to even realize that it all comes down to “In the beginning God…”. God spoke and it was finished. God breathed and it was created. God fixed His gaze on you and said I will complete what I started in you. But we have to let him. We have to take our vessel and all its cracks and broken pieces and let Him glue us.

How? The only way I know to have relationship is to be with someone. We have to be with God. Intentionally spending time with Him so he can reveal and heal at the same time.

How? Being honest. Admitting that we are lonely or we have used Facebook as our God.

We find time for everything else that is important to us, but we neglect the One that is omnipresent in us. Who alone can only heal and bring wholeness to us.

For most of us, it isn’t even a sin issue that causes the glue to dry and peel. It’s those little distractions that the enemy tricks us into believing so easily, and we convince ourselves and others that we are fine. Nothing is wrong. We are just fine. But we aren’t. Deep inside we are hurting.

Today I feel a little unglued.

But I know who holds the bottle of glue.

 

 

 

Impossible Possible Peace

07 Friday Jul 2017

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If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. This is the words of Paul in Romans 12:18.

Sometimes  it feels that it isn’t possible doesn’t it?

It feels impossible. If it says, “IF possible”, that to me is saying that it can also be impossible.

Before you begin getting mad at me, be at peace and let me finish.

I have learned this the hard way, that the next part of the verse it critical to my understanding of possible.

“As it depends on you”.

It is up to me, the possible it up to me, to live at peace.

There are times (and I have experienced them) that we try to make peace happen with someone, and it doesn’t seem like there is peace in the relationship. Why? Because relationships are hard, messy and very risky. And sometimes there are seasons and friendships come to an end of the season, or the break is too wide to mend.

Sometimes reconciliation looks like a separation, or a ‘break in the relationship’.

But, in the midst of this, you can be at peace.

How? How is it possible to “be at peace” when it looks like there is no peace?

Being a Pastor and a ministry leader, I have learned this the hard way. I thought to be at peace meant I had to jump through hoops to make the other person like me.

Almost like I was (or did) try with all my strength to get them to approve me, approval meant peace. Or to get them to like me, as if that would give me peace. I was in a constant state of rejection because of this. It was killing me, and those around me because I was never really at peace. Within myself or with anyone.

So I started to really look at the verse, and focused on the next words; as far as it depends on me.

A new revelation began to take shape.

I can be at peace with someone, even if they are mad at me, or there is a break in relationship. As much as it depends on me, I can be at peace.  How? because my peace comes from God. Our peace comes directly from God, and that depends on me.

The word peace in the Strong’s Concordance is the word Shalom and NAS Extensive Concordance means: completeness, soundness, welfare, ease, peace.  In the Concise Etymological Dictionary of the English Language the word peace is described as a pact.

If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at ease, at soundness, live in completeness with everyone.

I can be complete only because my wort, value, approval and identity come from God. I don’t have to chase people and force relationship or force peace to happen.

I have learned that when I am at peace, “complete in Him”, He brings peace to the relationship.

There will be people who have no idea they hurt you, or even care that they hurt you, but you can live in a place of peace, because of  the One who is your peace.

It is possible to do the impossible and live at peace with everyone, because my peace doesn’t rely on them.

Jesus tells us in  John 14:27 “My peace I give to you”. He is telling us that He gives us our completeness, our soundness, our ease, our peace. He give us this pact – that He becomes our peace.   In one of my situations, talking and reconciling is not possible, but I am at peace. I know that my peace comes from God and I can extend that peace into the situation, not of my strength, but by depending on the One who is my peace.

“As far as it depends on you”, you can be at peace. The impossible is now possible.

 

 

 

 

 

STumbLing

30 Friday Jun 2017

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First, my apologies for not writing much lately. I have been in a season of rest and restore. Spending time with my new little love Owen Davis. My first grandchild! And I have just been contemplating the Love of God in my life, nature and through the Word.   It was much-needed and I feel a sense of peace that I have never felt before.

I have been reading Romans this summer. Really reading and letting it sink in deep to my heart. But I’m stuck on Romans 9:32b

They stumbled over the stumbling stone. (NIV)

I think I have stumbled,  or am stumbling.

How many have stumbled over God? Over Jesus?

Because instead of trusting God, they took over. They were absorbed in what they themselves were doing. They were so absorbed in their “God projects” that they didn’t notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock in the middle of the road. And so they stumbled into him and went sprawling. (MSG)

 

How many times are we going to go sprawling, tripping over Jesus to do good projects?

Look at these definitions of Stumbling:

Verb (used without object), stumbled, stumbling.
1.to strike the foot against something, as in walking or running, so as to stagger or fall; trip.
2. to walk or go unsteadily: to stumble down a dark passage.

3. to make a slip, mistake, or blunder, especially a sinful one:

to stumble over a question; to stumble and fall from grace.
4. to proceed in a hesitating or blundering manner, as in action or speech(often followed by along).

5. to discover or meet with accidentally or unexpectedly (usually followed by on, upon, or across):

They stumbled on a little village.
6. to falter or hesitate, as at an obstacle to progress or belief.
verb (used with object), stumbled, stumbling.
7. to cause to stumble; trip.

8. to give pause to; puzzle or perplex.

Noun:
9. the act of stumbling.
10. a moral lapse or error.
11. a slip or blunder.

Now,  read them again and use the verse and think of Jesus.

They (we) struck our foot against something, in our efforts to do something, we proceeded in a blundering manner.  stumbling-block

How often have we not looked to or at Jesus, stumbling over our own projects, ideas or thoughts?

Maybe it is just me. But I don’t want to be so busy or focused on doing, that I literally stumble over the One I think I am doing something for.

Maybe we need, or I need to slow down enough to see what Jesus IS doing and join Him there, not look for what He HAS done and try to repeat it.

Maybe we need to spend more time with Him as our Cornerstone, so that we don’t stumble over Him in our hurry to be famous.

Maybe we just need to stumble into Him and not over Him.

Today, I am stumbling.

You can’t have my oil.

30 Wednesday Nov 2016

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anointing_of_fresh_oilI think God wants more from us in 2017. We are really good at loud intercession, warring prayer and band led worship and events and gatherings. But, Jesus lived his life in the secret place. He drew away and spent time alone with God in the quiet secret place.
We need to learn to live from the quiet before we shout in the street.

I have been feeling for over a year, God telling me that he wants more and I have been struggling with what is more? How much more can I give?

But as I have been studying and asking, I really feel the body of Christ is to learn about living in the secret place, and from there we go and shout.   But it seems that we have taken to the secret place the same thing we do in the public place. We just do it by ourselves. That isn’t what God is asking.

He is asking for us to come fully into this place of intimacy and quiet, of quiet talks, and relationship – deeper than we have ever gone before.

There will be an intimacy and trust that grows from this secret place that causes our prayers to be bold and effective. When I am abandoned to Him, His prayer flows out of me and are His purposes and His promises.

Trust me this is tough. I have been involved in the prayer room movement, the house of prayer movement for years, but this is more than that. It is possible that we have substituted our time in these places for the secret place and it isn’t.

It is a Matthew 25 time.

The Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins

25 “Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. 3 Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, 4 but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 5 But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept.

6 “And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming;[a] go out to meet him!’ 7 Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ 10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.

11 “Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ 12 But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’

13 “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour[b] in which the Son of Man is coming. (NKJV)

If we want to be among the wise with oil, then we have to do what it takes to get the oil.

This oil comes from relationship, intimacy, friendship, quiet times, solitude, waiting, breathing, seeking. It doesn’t come from events, stages, lights or lasers.

Not that those things are wrong, but from my experience intimacy only comes when it is between two people.

And I can’t give you my oil. I had a dream that a dear friend came to me and was begging me for some of my oil. She had oil at one time, but had let it run empty. She was doing all the same prayer gatherings, events and such, but her oil was empty.

I can’t give you my oil.

It isn’t that I wouldn’t want to share my oil with you, I literally can’t. It doesn’t fit you, It is my intimacy oil.

It won’t smell good on you, because it is my oil fragrance.

The verse ends with you have to go and buy for yourself, your oil.

You can’t have my oil. You can’t live in my secret place.

My friends, hear my heart. I love worship gatherings, and spiritual warfare and loud intercession, but they won’t be sustainable if my life isn’t full of the oil it takes, from the secret place of relationship.

It is at the very end of this passage that the virgins that didn’t have oil, come running in – and the Lord responds “assuredly I say to you I do not know you”

This is what happens when we don’t cultivate a prayer life in the quiet, secret place. When we only offer prayers of lists and give me this”

In 2017 I feel God is asking, will you go deeper? Will you fill your jar with oil? Will you?

 

Take & Eat

04 Friday Nov 2016

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I am learning to be thankful.

To give thanks and offer thanks. It seems it is a lost art in our culture, especially with our political world and an election on the horizon.

Just a simple thank you.

But let’s go a little deeper.

When was the last time you just thanked God for being God. Not for what He does for you, or did or is doing. But just thanking him for being Him.

I have been doing this great praying and writing the scriptures of Thanksgiving that my friend Candance at http://www.mercyisnew.com compiled. I am writing, praying then actually digging into the original Greek or Hebrew of words in the scripture.

Today, was Matthew 26:26. “And as they were eating Jesus took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said “take, eat, this is my body”

We normally take this verse as part of our communion, where we drink the ‘blood’ and eat the ‘body’ of Christ.

But I think this was to be a daily time of thanksgiving and remembrance, not just an Easter or Christmas thing we do.

The word body in the text is the word Soma (so-mah). It means as a sound whole, substance, different from flesh, but soul or spirit, the whole man.

So think of this as you daily ask – to take and eat the entireness of Jesus, (not his flesh) but his spirit, his soul, the wholeness of him.

It really puts our thankfulness in a different place since now we aren’t asking for the bread as in the flesh (which really has been hard to understand or explain right?), but for the entireness of Jesus to be what we partake of.

God, as I take this bread (the word) that you have given me, I ask that you bless it with all that you are, and want for me, I take and eat of your wholeness, your substance, soul, spirit, I take and eat of your whole being, so that I can in turn offer thanks to you, because you are God.

 

I want/need/don’t read my bible.

09 Saturday Apr 2016

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I have many people ask me how to read their Bible. Or how to study the Bible. My first thought is, well, you have to open it, look at the words and begin reading the sentences. bible-and-coffee

It isn’t that people don’t know how to read it. It really comes down to we don’t really want to read it. Everyone knows how to read. We read each and every Facebook update perfectly and even respond to some. So reading isn’t really the problem.

We even read books on how to read the bible. Doesn’t that seem a little crazy ? To have a book on how to read your bible ? We have replaced self-help books with self-help read your bible books.

So, if reading isn’t really the physical problem, then what is it?

Desire. The ‘want to’ read it, but the ‘want to read everything else’ is stronger.

We are all on this journey, if we have chosen to be. And it is a progressive journey. Just like the Shulamite woman in the Song of Solomon, it may take us 8 chapters to fully comprehend this life we have chosen.

In chapter 1 of Song of Solomon, she asks –

Tell me, you, the one I love:
Where do you pasture your sheep?
Where do you let them rest at noon?
Why should I be like one who veils herself
beside the flocks of your companions?

Today that would be – where are the ones to look up too? Where can I learn to follow you rightly? Where do I rest in your presence? Why should I be like the ones who say yes, but never do yes ?

He responds:

 If you do not know,
most beautiful of women,
follow the tracks of the flock,
and pasture your young goats
near the shepherds’ tents.

If you aren’t sure follow those who are already living in my presence, eating my Word and are truly living the ‘yes’

So here is my suggestion; open your bible and begin to read. If you don’t understand, then try another version. Visit a bible study that helps keep you accountable with the reading, but make sure it really is a bible study, where the bible is read and shared. Where you are learning and growing in the Word, not in a ‘topic’.

Sit with someone who you see that really reads the Word and has a passion for it, not just trying to sell you a book or method. Methods are great, but we can focus on the method and all the colored pencils and still not be reading.

I encourage you to read entire books, not just verses. Start with James, read the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), read ‘God Eats Pop Corn’ (Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians)

Just read.

The more you read, the more you will want to read and the more you will fall in love with the author. Which really is the point – reading the Bible is the way we begin to know God as our Father and how he talks to us.

I use a bible without study tools or added features for reading. Sometimes the added study tools, although awesome, can distract you from just reading. I do use a study bible, or several for when I want to dig into the Word at a deeper level.

I hope this encourages you to open the most beloved book from the most loving author.

 

 

 

The Lord is near…

22 Monday Feb 2016

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….to all who call on Him.

This is usually how we end this verse. We encourage people saying “God is near”. And He is. But not near as in a vending machine, that when I am hungry, I plug some cash and get His presence.

I think this is what happens when we read the Word for a quick fix or to find a verse to fit an argument, or like a band-aid. We just cut and paste a verse to fit my or any situation.

What would happen if we read the whole verse from Psalm 145. Or actually read the whole Psalm 145 ?

You would have a better understanding on why and how He is near.

Lets again read verse 18 (which often we only read the first line)

The Lord is close to all who call on Him,  yes, to all who call on Him sincerely.

From another translation is reads:

The Lord is near to all who call out to Him, all who call out to Him in integrity.

What is my point?

In our prayer life, we know that God is near. From all of His attributes we know that He is omnipresent and omniscient. There is never a time when He isn’t near me.

But how He responds to that nearness with me, depends on how my heart attitude is. It says with sincerity, or with integrity.

Just like our physical posture can dictate, so can our heart posture. For example it isn’t magical to stand during worship or kneel during prayer, but it does do something to my heart posture to kneel, stand or even raise my hands in surrender.

I think most times we begin to demand things, like “God you are near me, so do this and that NOW”.

Can you just hear the arrogance in that ?

Then, we are so very disappointed that God didn’t do what I just told him to do. Loudly. Because I probably screamed at Him like a spoiled child.

When my heart comes to Him sincerely, with integrity, other versions say “call on Him in truth (without guile), that is showing a posture of understanding that He is God. And I would have known that if I read the entire psalm 145.  Just saying.

He is near when I come to Him in Truth. What is truth ? The WORD.

It tells us in the Word, that the Word is the spirit of truth. I can come to Him when I am coming speaking truth in my heart, because His Word of truth is what I am declaring from my heart.

The Lord is near to all those who call on him, with sincerity of heart, with integrity, without guile, but in Truth –

Do you see how that changes things?

I can know and feel His nearness by how I chose to receive His nearness. I receive it by knowing it, declaring it and allowing His nearness to take me even deeper in walking out that integrity and sincerity.

If I am just screaming out that God is near, and I want Him to do what I say, I probably won’t feel His nearness. Why? Because if I have to tell or demand God to do something, I am saying that I know more than Him, which makes me a god telling God what to do. As if He is waiting in Heave for me to tell Him what to do.

To be a person of the Word, we have to really read all the Word.

The Word backs up the Word. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

It’s a promise and God keeps His promises. He is obligated to and by His Word.

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fear {five minute Friday}

19 Friday Jun 2015

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I never really thought of myself as a fearful person. Of course I had the fear of the dark as a child, and I admit that even today, I walk really fast if I am in a dark room.

But as a grown woman, lover of God and of all He tells me I am in Him, I don’t consider myself to be in fear.

I know all the verses and can whip them out like band-aids with the best of them.

But pondering this word today – I realize that I do fear.

I may use another word that sounds better – like ponder, or question, or I wonder – but I think it might actually come down to fear.

Fear of: am I doing the right thing, at the right time,

Fear of: will the ministry’s lease and bills get paid this month

Fear of: am I possibly drinking too much coffee

Fear of: am I hearing God correctly

Fear of: being fearful

What I am seeing is that sometime we cover fear with questions and then call it something else – like …’I’m just asking’ but isn’t it really based in the reality that comes from fear?

Fear of: failing       fear

Fear of: losing

So I am thinking that again today – I am going to choose to hand over the questions, the outcomes, the ‘fear of’ and picking up peace, and probably more coffee

But really coming to terms that just because I can quote a bible verse, doesn’t mean that fear doesn’t exist, it’s what I do when I realize the root of the question and where it stems from.

After writing this, I am feeling less fear and more hope – I am not except from fear, I just have something bigger than my fear to lean on, trust in and rely on.

 

 

 

gift. {five minute Friday}

05 Friday Jun 2015

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Gifts are awesome ! Who doesn’t like getting a gift ? One of my favorite gifts to receive is probably an amazon gift card…its the gift that keeps giving ! Plus I love to read, so it is perfect for me. Or coffee mugs and coffee. It is my addiction.

But, I really love giving gifts.

For me, it is sometime easier to give a gift than to receive a gift.

When someone gives me a gift, I can almost act like it isn’t a good gift, because I just don’t know how to receive gifts. Or I get nervous and start my nervous talking – PLEASE someone stop me !!

Anyone else like that ?

I want gifts.

But they are so hard for me to receive !

I wonder if that is how God feels?

He keeps giving us gifts and we keep piling them up, not using them or really thanking Him for giving them. Are we afraid of His gifts ?  Or just to busy to even acknowledge them ?

Think about it. We are breathing today. That is a gift – did you thank Him for it?

You are loved, you are accepted, you are chosen – did you thank Him for that ?

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Look at this picture – ‘the manner in which it is given is worth more than the gift’ – how powerful is that?

Maybe our response is wrong ?

What if every gift that came to us everyday from God, was acknowledged with thanks, praise and wonder – that the gift itself wasn’t the focus. But the giver was !

What if we didn’t focus on the gifts but the giver ?

The manner is which God gives us these gifts are free but yet so costly

and we should be thankful and in awe

So today – unwrap the gift He is giving you – and thank Him for it.

and if you happen to send me a gift – I will gladly thank you and receive it !