it really just comes down to 1.  in any relationship or marriage or parenting, it really comes down to 1. one person.

in any relationship that I am in, I am always responsible for the 1. me. but to the ONE, Him.

even in my marriage – I can’t have a vibrant marriage if I am always neglecting me.

now before all the haters throw hate. let me explain.

I have been reading and hear so much about the proverbs 31 woman. how each of us a women, wives, mothers and friends are to esteem to become this women from  proverbs 31. she has been called the perfect woman, that we are all to try to be.

So we have seminars and books on how to be the perfect proverbs 31 woman, with lists and logic on how to be this ideal wife, mom, woman –

but I can’t. even on a good day. I cannot be her.

It is not in my DNA to be perfect.

as I was reading yet another book for women, and how we can be happy and  serve our husbands to even more happiness by serving him his favorite meal, I really just started to laugh. when I asked my hubs what his favorite meal was his response was – ‘whatever you cook that I like’  – well that narrowed it down.

I really failed in the cleaning department. in fact every time I do some type of cleaning I hear my self quote – “she does her house well’ – what does that even mean ?

Is my house worried about not being cleaned ? are my carpets crying out to be swept ?

in fact my husband laughed as I was telling him all the things I am to do as a proverbs 31 wife and he said, I just want you to be you…and if you kiss me like you mean it – even better.

so why am I writing this?

well, I am in my 40’s and I am seeing this surge again like I did when I first got married to be this perfect wife – submissive, quiet, meek, cooks, cleans, dresses like a gap model, never trips, spills or swears.

so, what do you do if you are the opposite of that ?

I would rather spend hours in my bible then in the kitchen.

I would rather meet for coffee then make sure the socks are color coded.

in order for submission to work, I have to know the mission. what is the mission of our marriage ?

and really should each of us be in the same mission, to love God fully and to love others intentionally ?

so in the 1 it comes down to, is me, but me and THE ONE – Him –

I am under His mission ?

am I loving

am I seeking

I am responsible for me, and my relationship with God first – not with the proverbs 31 women. (and here is a secret – she never existed )

I must be the me that He created me to be – and to live that me out to the fullest that He gave me freedom to be –

Proverbs 31 isn’t about how to be a perfect woman – it’s about living a life focused on the 1 who is

I think if we focused  more on Him than the on how to fold and organize the laundry we would be that woman of strength –

why? because it’s His strength anyway !

If we focus on Jesus and the Living Word, then our words would be filled with wisdom and faithful instruction because it would be in our hearts – not just posters on the fridge to mock us

so be free my friends to find the woman that God created you to be –